Hi everyone!!
Please take a look at an excerpt from the book I'm working on. I just want to take the time to thank everyone who encouraged me to write again after the experience I had with the last book I participated in. That experience broke me; I felt as though the biggest accomplishment in my life had been taken from me without me being able to properly relish in the joy of having done it. It discouraged me. In complete honesty, it paralyzed me with fear of having that same feeling again.
But God surrounded me with a team of angels who encouraged and motivated me to try again and who continously remind me of God gift when I become distracted or discouraged and I praise His name for that alone. Admittedly, it's taking me awhile, I get distracted with life, discouraged by self doubt, but I WILL do it... just because I want to prove my supporters right.
With all of that being said, PLEASE read and comment... I need your honest opinion ... I need it all!!
~neek
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It’s not over. You’re still here
The thoughts rang loud and clear in her head, awaking her from her 3-day coma.
Dammit.
Tamika’s eyes opened slowly to greet the starch white hospital room. She was very weak and groggy. The only sound in the room was the constant beep from the cardiac monitor that spoke on behalf of the life that still pumped through her veins. The life she tried to end 3 days, 2 hours and 17 minutes ago.
Tamika’s eyes closed again as she attempted to remember what happened.. She remembered needing relief. Wanting an out. She remembered her heart being heavy and her head being light as she watched a deep red river run across the bathroom floor; running as wildly as she desired to run. She remembered feeling empty, even though her life was filled with problems, regrets, and sorrow. She remembered asking God for forgiveness as she felt the life slowly seep from her body. She couldn’t endure life, so she knew she couldn’t endure hell.
The IV in her hand’s veins started to throb. The area of flesh around the insertion of the IV was very tender as she lifted her hands. Both wrists were wrapped in bandages.
Slit my wrists.
Tamika had lost almost too much blood when her sister Shayla found her lying lifeless on the cold ceramic floor. Shayla’s class was cancelled and she came home to ask her big sister for some money to go shopping. She followed the sound of the water flowing in the shower to find her sister, but as she approached, calling Tamika’s name, Shayla became apprehensive of the stillness of the house.. When she walked through the hall towards the bathroom at the end of the hall, she caught a glimpse of a limp well manicured hand, surrounded by a pool of blood. Shayla’s screams pierced the walls and alerted the neighbors to the tragedy. Tamika laid in her sister’s arms when the neighbors burst in to help. One applied pressure to her wrists and tried to console her distraught sibling, while the other called the paramedics.
Tamika began to focus on the door. Her first clear sight was someone walking down the hall, intently focused on getting to what ever hospital room they were headed to, bearing balloons and flowers. With her sight now clear, she looked around her own room. No balloons. No flowers.. No deeply concerned visitors waiting at her bedside for her to regain consciousness. Just white walls, white curtains, and an old outdated television.
Figures.
Tamika sighed a deep sigh that pulled so much energy out of her, she felt light headed when it was over.
How did I get here? I can’t even get this right.
The problems she tried to escape came rushing back to her; her mind began screaming the worries she tried to abandon. She closed her eyes again, squeezing tight, attempting to get the deepest darkness she could attain. She longed for darkness. Her heart ached for it. The light revealed too much.
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